Life has been a roller coaster for us lately, full of wonderful blessings and also huge trials that have tested our faith. But through it all, blessings and trials, we have come closer to each other and closer to our Savior.
In September Tim and I found out that we were expecting our first child! We were so excited. This is something that Tim and I had been waiting for our whole lives. I started to get weird cravings for pickles and other strange things. Our minds suddenly could think of nothing else. Our thoughts were totally consumed by babies. We even stopped by the baby section every time we went to ANY store. I think the best part was feeling the love we had for this little buven, yes we named it buven for the time being. I began to feel as if I had a small glimpse of the love that Heavenly Father has for His children. The concern, the happiness, the fear, the love, all of it. It was an amazing feeling.
At the end of October we went to our doctor and found out that we had had a miscarriage. It seemed that we had gone from one extreme to another. All that love and joy had turned in to pain and fear. It was a very difficult time for us but through our faith, we were going to be ok. We were surrounded by love and comforted every day. There were so many people that helped us. Tim and I also grew so much closer to each other while we relied on our Father in Heaven to help us through something so difficult. We focused on getting through one day at a time, praying everyday, and reading our scriptures for comfort. There were so many times that I saw the Lord's hand in our life; in a talk at church, in a blog, in a scripture, in a conference talk. Every day the Lord made sure that we knew we were going to be ok.
One day I had a conversation with my sister in law and she told me that every night, our niece and nephew prayed that Emmy would get a new baby in her tummy. This instantly brought tears to my eyes. If we could all have faith like them; to have no fear, to have no hesitations , no worries, but total faith in our Heavenly Father. I have been working for this type of faith. What a wonderful experience to be reminded that our Father in Heaven has so much love for us. If we could all have the faith of a child, our lives would be filled with so many more blessings. We all have trials and for reasons we don't always understand. But we get through them and we learn and we come out stronger. We are grateful for the Lord, we are grateful for trials that bring us closer to our Father in Heaven, and we are grateful for this wonderful time of year.
